Sad Smiles
by UCI Fanfic Requests
Summary: Saeki is the go to person because he is always smiling. Still, his happy expression hides a sadder secret that only Kirishima notices.


warao requested: Hello~ Oh I really love all fanfics you guys did! (^ 7 ^) Well, I have so many things in my head about UCI characters; but lately, I always wondering… even Saeki always have heart-warming smiles and such, but behind his smiles he had to bear such pain that everyone doesn't know, thus one day, his attitude suddenly change but not fully noticed by everyone except Kirishima.

The rest is up to your imagination, admin~ (0u0)/

 **Admin Notes:** Awwww thank you for your compliment! You're wonderful! It means a lot to us that you like our writing! This prompt is also very wonderful! (Gosh darn! My computer deleted my first copy!) -Admin Hirahara

Saeki was always the person escorts went to when they had a problem. He was helpful, kind, always cheerful, and an all around perfect escort. It was no wonder he made the ranks of lieutenant colonel in the short time that he did. He was respected, adored, and well decorated. But not a lot of people knew what Saeki's bright smiles usually hid. Having such a big heart was both a blessing and a burden.

"Underworld escorts cannot comprehend the emotions of humans," he told himself often. Still, that didn't mean he didn't feel the pang of sadness for the deceased ones who he had to send off. They were all pathetic, in some way, regretting their decisions in life, hating their existence, and seeking revenge. With each mission was another ghost with its own story, which was listened to by no one until Saeki arrived.

At first, the feeling was just a passing hit in the back of the escort's mind; he rarely gave it any thought. But as the missions piled up and more help was required, Saeki found himself with more time to think about what he was doing. And the more he had time to think about those who had passed, the more the strange feeling ate at him like a virus. "Then why do I feel so sorry for them?" He would ask himself.

Still keeping the burden to himself, Saeki continued his every day routine. The others didn't seem to take notice of any difference, and Saeki really wasn't expressing much of his true feelings as well. But it was good that he was keeping this a secret. Surely the others would think he had some sort of a problem if they found out that he was taking it upon himself to understand deceased ones.

It was one day after a solo mission that Saeki finally broke down. This deceased one, a young child having burdened the hatred for its entire existence, was only calmed after Saeki allowed it to cry in his arms. After delivering the child to the Court of Enma, Saeki found himself in his room, alone, and feeling the strings of his heart unwind.

 _He's a lonely, sad child._ He thought to himself. A memory of a long time ago flashed in front of his eyes _;_ the images of a lone boy riddled with some sort of disease. It was enough to make the icy eyed escort shed hot tears, which he couldn't remember ever doing before. Needing an escape, he went to find the grand piano hidden in a certain room in the headquarters. It would make him feel better if he played a little.

—

Kirishima may have not seemed like it, but he was very good at picking up subtle changes in people's personalities. Some thought that he would be the type to be oblivious to differences so small, yet he turned out to be the only one noticing that Saeki disappeared every night to play a melody on the piano. He wanted to respect the other's personal space by keeping out of personal business such as this, but the lieutenant colonel was starting to concern him.

When Saeki thought no one was looking, he seemed to lose the upbeat personality that drew everyone towards him. It was replaced with a dark and dull one, which turned off instantly when someone came to talk to him. Although Kirishima wasn't the one to point out a depressing expression, he was the one to finally confront Saeki about his worry. When the icy eyed escort had snuck to the grand piano later that evening, Kirishima followed in secret.

The caped escort did nothing but play the piano for a long time after arriving at the room. Kirishima was beginning to feel bad about his doubts and leave when a horrible dissonance came from the piano. It sounded like someone slamming their hand down on the keys. After a brief silence, Kirishima could hear a light sobbing from the room. Peering in, he saw Saeki with his face in his hands, motionless.

Unsure of what compelled him to do so, the azure eyed escort found himself approaching Saeki and wrapping his arms around the smaller escort, laying his head in the nook of the other man's neck. The sudden contact made Saeki jump, for he had not realized that Kirishima had been there the whole time.

"Don't just carry sad thoughts on your own," Kirishima whispered softly into the other's ear. "Its alright to share these feelings with someone else." The gentle reassurance was all Kirishima could really offer without knowing more about the situation. With that, all the tension Saeki had left him, and he sank into the embrace.

"I don't understand it myself," he said, trying to smile through watery eyes. "Lately, I've been trying to understand the deceased ones." He attempted to explain. "But it isn't working. All I feel is pity and sadness." He continued with details from his missions, while Kirishima listened with all this heart. The swordsman was very understanding, even if some things were hard for him to understand.

That night, Saeki was finally able to return to his room, feeling a pleasant warmth he hadn't felt in a long time. With part of his burden passed on, his heart was light once again. It was not the last night meeting the two would have, and it became all part of the routine. Having someone to share his feeling with, Saeki decided, was the greatest relief he had ever felt.


End file.
